Gluten Again...

I'm starting to think that Gluten is the new four letter word in our house.  It has been 5 months since I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease.  It has absolutely NOT been an easy road, but I think I'm finally starting to get the hang of certain aspects of my new life.  Initially I dropped 17 pounds in three weeks because I was so terrified to eat anything for fear that it would make me sick.  Though even after I quit eating wheat- I was still getting stomachaches and it took me a while to locate the reason for still feeling crummy... Eventually I was able to pinpoint the reason for my continued intestinal distress... DAIRY!  Apparently I am also now lactose intolerant.  It was kind of like hitting a brick wall.  It seemed like everything that I had been doing for years was exactly what was hurting my body.  How do you change so many habits and foods?  And how do you do that when you have a family to feed and take care of too?

I was coming up blank.  And really, really struggling.  Sometimes I would try to cheat- almost like I was trying to prove to myself that the diagnosis was wrong and that I really could still eat my favorite foods.  Every time I ended up on the bathroom floor, holding onto my stomach and waiting for the cramps to pass.  Every single time.  I was so miserable.  I told everyone that I was handling the situation fine and that it wasn't such a big deal... I was totally lying.

Thankfully though- I have the world's most incredible husband.  And I'm not talking about a cutesy husband- you know the one you read about on your friend's blog- the guy that is SUPER amazing because he cleans the house and takes the kids on long walks so you can take a nap or even the one that brings home flowers.  Nope.  I have a better husband.  Mine stood by me while I cried about missing pizza (of all the stupid things to cry about right?) and he ate crappy meal after crappy meal- he'd even ask for seconds.  He helped me find local cooking classes that offered courses in Gluten Free baking and cooking... and he ate crummy brownies, leaden rolls and cookies that turned to dust after you bit into them.  He praised me when I did get a recipe right and offered suggestions when they didn't.  He has trailed behind me in health food stores, helping me look for new and strange ingredients to add to our growingy Gluten Free pantry.  He has even stood up for me and my diagnoses when others didn't understand what it has truly meant for us.  In short- he has been the most patient and understanding man- and I love him dearly.

My mom and my dad have also been instrumental in helping me figure this all out.  My mom has attended almost every single one of my cooking classes with me.  She has helped me find stores that carried things like Sorghum Flour and Xanthan Gum.  She too has helped offer suggestions for fixing meals that don't hurt me and still feed my family.  Though- we would be lost without the help of a wonderful baker here in the area- Trish Withus has been an inspiration to me and has helped me master G-Free Chocolate Chip cookies!

It seems that even though we've gotten over a couple of bumps in the road since I was diagnosed- we aren't set for smooth sailing just yet.  You see- Ty has been getting migraine headaches since school started back in September.  When he first started getting them- I kind of blew it off and blamed it on the fact that he probably would rather stay home and watch movies than go to school- even though I knew how much he looked forward to school each day.  But the headaches seemed to get worse and more frequent as the school year went on.  He missed days at a time and would spent them down in his room in the dark.  He wouldn't eat anything and he didn't want to do anything.  I finally brought it up with his Doctor and we tried a few different things before she had him (and the other two kids) brought down to the lab to have blood tested for certain antibodies.

When she called me with the results she told me that she had some "interesting" results to the tests.  My heart dropped- "interesting" is not boring- and boring would have been that all the tests came back normal and that would be it.  But no.  "Interesting."  She told me that the antibody count in a normal, healthy person is 4.  Ty's antibody count was over 100.  The lab stopped counting at 100.  He really was a sick little boy- I couldn't help but wonder how long I had actually missed this...

Ryan's labs came back perfect and Kate's were "inconclusive" and she'll be tested again in about 6 months, but the chances are very good that she also has Celiac.

Before the Dr can actually officially diagnose someone with Celiac- you have to go in to a gastroenterologist and have an endoscopy.  This is where they put a tube down your throat,take a few pictures and take a biopsy to be tested in the lab.  They take the biopsy to rule out cancers and other internal problems that could be the cause of the high antibody count- but because of the family history including Celiac, the Dr thinks that Ty most likely has it as well.

We go in on Wednesday for Ty's endoscopy.

I have mixed emotions on all of this.  Do I want Ty to get better?  Without question.  But a life of Celiac when you start so young?  It will be so hard on him.  While knowledge is slowly seeping into the general public about people with wheat intolerance- it's not like there are always two birthday cakes at a party- one  that is G-Free and one that is full wheat.  And it breaks my heart to think about Ty eating a sucker at school while everyone else eats donuts.  Is this a healthier way of life?  Absolutely.  Is it harder?  Without question. But how crappy is that to throw on a 6 year old?  I have to take away his most favorite food in the world...  what is he going to do without a bean and cheese burrito!?!?  I know this is taking the "glass half empty" position- which I generally try to stay away from.  The pragmatic side of me is saying how much better his quality of life will be when he isn't plagued with tummy troubles and migraines.  But it's still so hard to take away things that your child loves.  Think about it- what is something your little ones love- can you imagine taking it away and saying you can never have it again?  It's hard.  I know it's for the best, and the reality is that there are so much bigger problems out there for a kid to have.  But it's hard.

Anyway- I don't know if this is exactly the right forum to write all this down in, but I figure if I ever get all of these posts printed out into a book- maybe we'll want to look back at where it all began so we can see how far we've come.  Maybe in 15 years when we read it, Ty and I will laugh at how silly it all was to worry so much.  And maybe I'll have learned how stupid it is to sabotage my body for the sake of a french fry.