I think every kid brings a new and different dynamic to the family. As well they should. Everybody is different. My family is no different. Ryan is one of those kids that dances to the beat of his very own drum. He challenges us in very different ways than Kate and Ty do. He has his own way of doing things, and he also makes up his own words to go along with it. It's like learning to speak a new language sometimes... Ryan-ese. Some of you may remember that when Ryan was very little- he decided that his little "lovey" was going to be called a "towel". He has called his little blanket a towel ever since and feigns deafness if it is called something else in his presence. He loves his little towel. It goes to bed with him each night and each morning when he makes his bed- his towel is placed lovingly in it's place of prestige in the middle of his pillow- waiting patiently for Ryan's return.
That said. You also know that boys will be boys. And brothers maybe more so. About two weeks ago- Ty and Ryan were wrestling in the family room as I was making breakfast... as I was pouring the pancake batter into my pan a blood curdling scream shook the house. Ryan came flying into the kitchen with his towel in hand- tears pouring down his cheeks. It took about ten minutes before I could calm him down enough to get him to actually talk to me... though it seemed ominous to me that Ty had made himself scarce. I was already beginning to guess the source of the tears... but I waited for Ryan to tell me.
Apparently as the boys were wrestling- Ty took the towel into his mouth and bit down hard, and as he did so- he pulled on the other end of it... Which resulted in a ripped towel.
I took the towel in my hands and turned it over a few times... I knew that I probably could have fixed it- but it wouldn't have been the same. Plus I was pretty angry at Ty... he knew better than to mess with the towel. After all... no one messes with his HooHoo (his name for his own lovey).
I was at a crossroads... I hate discipline. I wish my kids were just good and sweet of their own accord and there were never any problems. Imagine how easy being a parent would be then!! However... it's not. And my kids make bad choices sometimes. This happens to be one of them. I told Ty that he needed to turn his own HooHoo over to Ryan until he earned enough money to buy Ryan a new one.
Tears again ensued... Though this time from Ty. He can't sleep without his HooHoo!! So a compromise was offered. I offered to buy Ryan a new Towel- which would cost about $8. BUT... in order to borrow the money from me- I told him I would have to charge him interest. $1 would be the cost to him.
He sat there and wrestled with his decision. And we had to talk it though a couple of times. We figured out that he would have to earn a little over $8 to pay for the towel himself and be able to still pay his tithing. And he would be without his own HooHoo until this was done. If he wanted his HooHoo now- he would need to borrow $10 from me. He chose to pay the interest.
I felt kind of like a slimy loan shark after my conversation with him... but Shaun and I had discussed that we really wanted him to understand the implications of what he had done- and that it costs money to fix the things that we break.
It took Ty about a week and a half to earn the money- he had to do extra chores around the house besides his regular ones (the regular ones he did NOT get paid for). I assigned a dollar amount to each chore that I thought was age appropriate... for example- He got .25 for clearing the table after a meal, and .50 for setting the table... etc. He ended up doing quite a bit of work- but I was pretty proud of how he handled his mess.
In the end- peace reigns at the Kidd household. Ryan has a new towel, and Ty is a little bit more careful. Not a lot though... I forsee this lesson being taught again and again around here... But maybe eventually it will stick. I love my little ones and I love Shaun for his ideas and support in raising our kids.
